Short Story by Debbie Frost

Over the years I have been asked to share my life story of being a single mom, in and out of poverty, spending twenty years in abusive relationships. One thing one must consider when asking us to share a story is that it is very difficult to put ones entire life in a paragraph or two. So for anyone reading these short stories, please read behind the lines to really see our pain and our reality.

Hi, my name is Debbie D Frost. I am a single mom with 3 grown children, 33, 31 and 25, who have given me 9 wonderful grandchildren. I still also have two children at home, one who is 14, adopted and has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, also another who is 12, who has experienced parental kidnapping, both are wonderful children, (yes I am bias).

I have lived in and out of poverty for years, having my first child at the age of 16 and being kicked out of my mom’s home at 15, because I refused to have an abortion. Although I took responsibility for my child, I seemed to go down one bad path after another getting myself involved in bad abusive drunken relationships, (imagine a child watching his mother being hit with a vacuum cleaner).

During times when I had left these abusive men, trying to make it on my own, not having enough money to do it, I would write bad checks. The checks would bounce, however I would always pay them but later on. I lived on and off welfare between part time jobs and I couldn’t afford a full time job because I couldn’t afford childcare.
 

My children suffered at the hands of my poverty stricken life. The times I didn’t have food I would go hungry so my kids could eat. I didn’t have decent clothes, couldn’t go on a school trip, and did not even have enough for a simple glass of milk. I would watch my children cry, one day after another, what do we have to eat today mom? Where are we going to live now? Who is going to hurt you next? Etc, etc, etc.

No child should live like this and no child should suffer at the hands of a flawed system that is supposed to be a helping system. This is my pain, my reality, don’t laugh at my mistakes, some are not mistakes but are means of survival, one will survive and protect their young any way possible. I was lucky I never went to the streets.

How would a Dignity for All campaign help and support me? My rights would no longer be violated, I would have a voice and be able to speak out without fear of repercussion from those who look over my shoulder and watch with binocular like eyes. I would have a say in policies that should be developed by those with lived experiences, or at least have input into. It would give me the means to a better quality of life, therefore, providing me with options and resources to move out of poverty allowing me to be a much better role model for my children. It would give my children the lessons needed to be productive adult citizens without being afraid to speak out against indignities. More importantly, we would (including our children) no longer be treated as lower or second class citizens.

Should every person not have this kind of life, should every mother not have to worry about where the next meal or shoe is coming from? We would be free to be who we are and stand tall proud and strong. We would feel like we belong to our community, our city and our Canada.

I support Dignity for All: The Campaign for a Poverty Free Canada because I believe in equality for every man, woman and child. I believe in freedom and growth. Is it not time we started to provide for our people of Canada, our citizens, our children, our futures. I live in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, our slogan is “Saskatoon Shines” Saskatoon does not shine for everybody, sadder to say nor does our Canada.